Clearing OUT!!!

I made a cRaZy decision the other day.

I got rid of ALL my winter clothes!!!! WHY??? Because by NEXT winter I will NOT be fitting into them!!! By NEXT winter they will be TO BIG FOR me!!! SERIOUSLEY I took out EVERYTHING...well minus my beloved HOODIES!!! LOL Hoodies were meant to be big and bulky!!! Right??? But yeah...I'm getting rid of ALL my winter clothes!!! You should see my garbage bag STUFF FULL!!! I was like...

WOW!!! Am I really doing this??? Should I REALLY be gettin rid of ALL THESE clothes??? What if I need them again? What if they still fit me next year??? WHAT IF STOP LOSING WEIGHT??? Maybe I should keep them just in case...then I said NOOOO!!! I'm NOT giving myself ANY "What ifs" or "Just I Cases" I'M LOSING THIS WEIGHT!!!

GOOD BYE WINTER CLOTHES!!!!

Goals...

So thing with having to lose A LOT of weight is that sometimes lookin at the WHOLE picture can be REALLY overwhelming. I mean I remember when I was in the 400's, I would think it was impossible. Its like you HATE being fat, but you feel HOPELESS!!! Like your sooo far in you can't even see the light at the end of the tunnel. I mean to lose 200 pounds just seemed out of my reach. Like you work SOOOOOO hard to lose 50 pounds and you STILL have 150 MORE pounds to go!!!

Instead of lookin at the WHOLE picture, i'm just gonna take one step at time in the right direction. What I have done for myself is made up little goals heading towards a little BIG goal and each little BIG goal is heading towards ONE BIG GOAL!!! Sooo my first big is to weigh in the 200's

Little BIG goal #1- weigh in at 299

Here are my little goals to reach my first big goal:

1. Weigh in at the 330's

2. Weigh in at 326 (That was the lowest I weighed when I lost the 81 pounds before I gave up and started regaining weight.)

3. Weigh in at 308 (That will be 100 pounds I have lost since my highest weight)

4. FIT INTO THIS DRESS

5. 299 BABY!!! (Just wait!!! I'm gonna go NUTS when I weigh that much!!!)

After I reach my FIRST little BIG goal I will make a new little BIG goal with little goals. I will KEEP doing this UNTIL I have reached my BIG GOAL!!! What is my BIG GOAL??? I honestly do NOT know!!! I currently have NO goal weight!!! I've NEVER been thin in my life so I can't say, "I Remember when I used to weigh...etc.." I have a LONG ways to go before I need to worry about it!!!

I've already made my FIRST goal so far. My current weight as of TODAY is 334!!! It won't be long before I have reached my second little goal AND when I do, BELIEVE me I will let you ALL know about it!!!! Of course when I make my first BIG goal I will be rewarding myself...and NOT with dessert BUT...

NEW CLOTHES!!!!! ;)

Why???

Soooo I've been doing SOOOOO good on my diet!!! I'm sticking to it EXACTLEY!!! The thought of cheating hasn't even entered my mind. I'm like WHY cheat??? Cheaters NEVER win AND it will only slow me down and i'll have to suffer longer!!! So the other night, after ANOTHER perfect day of eating right I went to bed.

The next thing I know I was eating EVERYTHING in sight!!! Chocolate, CHEEZY, greasy PEPPERONI pizza, cake, ice cream, hamburgers, MORE CHOCOLATE, I mean, I was just going to town!!! And I was thinking like, OMW, I can't believe i'm doing this!!! I was doing ABSOULUTLY FABULOUS on my diet and now i'm ruining EVERYTHING!!! Aaaaaaaa!!!

I was heartbroken and soooooo DISAPOINTED in myself!!! Then all of the sudden I realized, LIKE omw i'm NOT messing up...I'm ASLEEP!!! I'm still doing AWESOME!!! THIS ONLY A DREAM!!! So I went right back to eating!!! (LOL) I kept thinkin...Just a dream. Just a dream. Just a dream. Just a dream.

JUST A DREAM!!!

Only thing I can't figure out is...

WHY was my hand on the fridge when I woke up????

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

One week!!!

So I realized that LAST thursday was actually my first day on the diet. They were my loading days where I was supposed to eat LOTS of fattening food for two days while taking the HCG and on those days I was actually weighing in at 353. Soooo today is one week on the 500 calorie diet!!! So this past week, has pretty much been a steady weight loss of 1 pound a day, BUT today I lost TWO pounds!! I'm sooooo HAPPY!! I guess God was rewarding me for NOT eating any frozen yogurt at yogurtini when I went out with all my friends last night. So I weighed in at 338 which made me sooooo HAPPY cuz my first goal was to get into the 30's!!! And HERE I am at 338 with a grand total of a 15 pound loss...Woot, woot!!!

First day!!!

Well as you can see I basically gave up on the Weight Wachers...I wasn't losing it fast enough and got frustrated and gave up!!! HOWEVER, I did start the HCG diet today, I won't go into ALL the details today of what this diet entails, BUT I did make it through my FIRST DAY!!! I weighed myself this morning and I was 348----> yes I just announce my weight for the whole world to read...WHO CARES??? I is what I is!!! :)

I woke up this morning HUNGRY!!! Why is that??? I mean, I normally don't even eat breakfast BUT why is it that WHENEVER you are starting a diet or FASTING you wake up with your stomach growling?! LOL I was like AW man!!!Then my sis went to Dunkin Donuts and I was like AW MAN!!! but I still resisted!!! THEN to top it ALL OFF...I went to a Sunday School seminar at Bro. Garrett's and afterwards, Bro. Garrett treated everyone to lunch at FLAVORS OF LOUISIANNA!!! I was like NOOOOOOO!!! I can't believe this is happening...BUT guess what???? I made it through it!!! I ate an apple!!! LOL!!! I feel soooo hungry right NOW but I am sooooo determined this time you guys....I'm GONNA DO THIS!!! HELP ME GOD!!! I'm gonna go have some HOT BLUEBERRY TEA!!!